The Empress Wants to Avoid the Emperor Top Escape Routes Inside Palace
Got this wild idea last Tuesday when I saw the Imperial Guard shifting patrols. Thought hey, what if Her Majesty needed to, uh, take an unscheduled stroll? Figured Iād map some backup exits. Totally unofficial project, just my curiosity.
Phase 1: The Scouting Mission
Started simple: walking my usual routes but with extra eyes. Pretended to admire the plum blossoms near the Western Concubines’ quarters. Real purpose? Noticing guard changes every two incense sticks burned. Saw this one servantās passage behind the chrysanthemum garden hedgesābarely wide enough for one person, completely hidden unless youāre brushing petals off your sleeves.
Next morning, I “accidentally” dropped embroidery silks near the Hall of Tranquil Longevity. While picking them up? Peeked under the raised walkways. Found crawl spaces! Dusty as hell, spiders everywhere, but it connects three pavilions underground. Took mental notes:
- Entry point: Loose wooden panel behind a stone turtle statue.
- Obstacles: Cobwebs (gross), uneven stone floor (twisted ankle risk).
- Exit options: Kitchen storage room OR music instrument storeroom.
Phase 2: The “Proof of Concept” Walk
Had to test it. Waited for heavy raināguards hate patrolling then. Slipped out during lunch hour chaos. Wore dark grey servant robes, easy camouflage. Did the crawl space route. Freezing cold down there! Took 15 minutes shuffling on hands and knees. Came up behind flour sacks in the kitchen. Almost got caught by a pastry chef grabbing ingredients. Heart was hammering like a war drum. Key takeaway? Bring knee pads. Seriously.
Phase 3: Refining the Routes
Tried two more options later:
Option A: The Roof Gambit. Used gardenerās ladders to access the lower palace roofs one foggy dawn. Slippery tiles! Nearly ate pavement twice. But jumping between connecting roofs gets you to the Imperial Pharmacy FAST. Guards never look up.
Option B: The Library Labyrinth. The Old Archives section smells like damp paper and secrets. Bookshelves form a maze. Found a hidden staircase in a corner blocked by scroll racks. Stairs go down to a disused well tunnel leading outside the palace wall. Exit is covered by wild ivy. Perfect if you can hold your breath passing the stinky well water.
Final Thoughts
Managed to chart five decent escape paths without getting thrown in the dungeons (phew). Most rely on:
- Timing (meal changes/weather)
- Knowing service corridors
- Ignoring personal dignity (so much crawling)
Would it work for the Empress? Maybe. But honestly? Easier to just pretend you have a migraine. Still, fun experiment!