So yesterday morning I grabbed my coffee like always and checked that horoscope post trending online. Figured why not see what the planets have cooked up for us this Saturday? Here’s how I actually put it to use, step by dirty step.
Step 1: Grabbing the Basics
First thing I did? Scroll straight to my sign – Taurus. Skipped all that fluffy intro stuff. Saw it mentioned Venus hanging tight with Pluto. Sounded intense already. Description said some buried money issue might bubble up. Honestly laughed at that. My wallet’s been gathering cobwebs since Christmas.
Step 2: Actually Trying the Advice
Then it suggested “digging up old financial paperwork before noon.” Okay, fine. Chugged the rest of my coffee and dragged myself over to the disaster zone I call a filing cabinet. Found:
- Three expired coupons (classic)
- A 2018 tax return covered in coffee stains
- And bingo – an old savings bond from my grandma
Totally forgot that thing existed. Worth like eighty bucks now. Not life-changing, but hey – free tank of gas. Planet thing got that weirdly right.
Step 3: The Mercury Warning Bit
Later section screamed about Mercury retrograde messing with tech. “Back up devices today!” it yelled. Ignored it like a dumbass. Guess what happened? Tried showing vacation pics to my sister later – phone froze, then rebooted. Lost like twenty photos from that taco place in Mexico. Shoulda listened.
Final Takeaways
Planets didn’t make me rich or fix my love life. But that random paperwork tip paid off literally. Mercury retrograde? Still hate it. My take? Skeptical as ever, but maybe peek at that boring advice section sometimes. Might dig up cash for tacos.
