So today I pulls out my tarot deck thinking it’s just gonna be regular practice time. Was shuffling near my messy coffee table – cold mug still sitting there from yesterday morning, junk mail everywhere – when the Page of Swords falls out upside down. Right onto some expired pizza coupon. Figured whatever, just reversed meaning stuff.

First Warning Sign I Straight Up Ignored

Book says this card warns about sneaky gossip or lies flying around. Hah. Thought nah, not for me. Went grocery shopping that afternoon when neighbor Bob stops me at the mailbox. Starts whispering how Karen from down the block saw my car swerving last Tuesday night. Told him she’s full of it cause I was home watching Netflix. Felt smug for shutting down the rumor… until later.

Second Warning Smacked Me Hard

Page of Swords reversed also means jumping into stupid fights. Guess who texted Karen about Bob snitching? Yeah. Got this furious wall of text from her at midnight accusing ME of starting drama. Fingers just typed back faster than my brain worked – called her nosy and her garden gnomes creepy. Instant regret when that seen receipt pops up. Too late.

• Wasted whole morning anxious about running into her
• Tripped over my own shoes hiding near the dumpsters
• Actual warning was about MY mouth not theirs

Final Warning Came Knocking

Third meaning? Reckless actions blowing up in your face. Karen’s kid actually waters my plants when I travel. Forgot about that until tonight. Came home to this wilted monstera looking half-dead. Checked texts – five missed messages from Karen offering to water them this weekend. Accidentally left her on read while hiding from her. Oops. Now gotta beg at her door with sad plant in hand tomorrow.

Done for the day. Page of Swords reversed ain’t subtle when it warns you – felt like life smacked me with a wet newspaper three times straight. Gonna actually pay attention next time this lil punk card shows up flipped.