Alright, so today I figured I’d finally try this whole “Yes or No Magician” thing everyone keeps whispering about online. You know, that simple card trick that’s supposed to give you clear answers about the future? Sounds too good to be true, right? My skeptical brain was buzzing, but hey, gotta test it myself.

The Setup – Keeping It Simple

First things first, I needed the tools. It wasn’t fancy.

• Dug out a standard deck of playing cards from my junk drawer. Dust bunnies included, free of charge.
• Cleared a spot on my kitchen table. Pushed aside a half-empty coffee mug and some mail.
• Focused my question: “Will I land that freelance design project I pitched yesterday?” Burning question, needed an answer.

Simple setup, simple goal. Just me, the cards, and a hopeful question hanging in the air. Didn’t light candles or chant or anything wild. Just sat down.

The Actual Doing – Shuffles, Spreads, and Stares

Here’s how I actually ran this thing, step by wobbly step:

Shuffled the deck like crazy. Over and over. Felt a bit silly, like I was prepping for poker night alone. Tried to keep my question clear in my head while doing it.

Split the deck into three piles. Just roughly divided it by eye – no precision measuring here. Top third, middle chunk, bottom bit.

Flipped over the top card of each pile. Fingers crossed… maybe? Clicked them over one by one.

• Pile 1: Seven of Hearts
• Pile 2: King of Diamonds
• Pile 3: Ten of Clubs

Now came the “Magician” part. The method says you look for Major Arcana cards (like The Fool, The Magician, etc.) popping up. See any? Me neither. Just normal playing cards staring back. Totally blanked on what this was supposed to mean for my “Yes or No.” Dead end.

Scratched my head. Re-read the quick guide I’d glanced at. Oh! Right! Supposed to also look at the suits and numbers and stuff? Sounded complicated. Diamonds meaning Yes, Clubs meaning No? Or was it Hearts for Yes? Crap. Got confused immediately.

Tried making sense of the mess. King of Diamonds (maybe Yes?), Ten of Clubs (probably No?), Seven of Hearts (Yes?). So… a Yes, a No, and another Yes? What’s that even mean? “Maybe, but probably with complications”? Not exactly the clear “Yes” or “No” I was promised. Felt like deciphering bad horoscope gibberish.

The Messy Wrap-Up – More Questions Than Answers

Sighed loudly. Leaned back, accidentally knocked my cold coffee over. Cards went everywhere. Coffee too. Great.

Spent the next five minutes wiping coffee off cards and the table. So much for mystical vibes. Reality check: clumsy human + liquids + flimsy paper.

Looked at the soggy mess. Did the Magician predict this cleanup was in my future? Definitely not. No card warned me about the coffee tsunami.

Here’s the raw takeaway from my little experiment:

• Predicting the future? Ha. Feels like grasping at straws dressed up as cards.
• It was easy to do, sure. Shuffle, split, flip. Anyone can physically do it.
• But the interpretation? Total fog. Conflicting guides, vague symbols. Leaves you staring at random cards making stuff up.
• The only thing I felt “sure” about afterward? That I needed a new cup of coffee. And maybe a towel.

So yeah. Tried it. Did the steps. Got messy and confused. Did it predict my freelance project fate? Still waiting to hear back from the client. Guess the real “magic” is just dealing with the uncertainty until real life decides to cough up an answer. Cards? Fun to play with, rubbish at fortune-telling, at least for this skeptic today.