Waking Up With a Question

Today morning felt kinda restless. Kept thinking about this big decision hanging over me – should I move jobs or not? Felt stuck in my head, going circles. Remembered my new Rider-Waite deck sitting pretty on the shelf, barely touched since last week’s impulsive buy. Figured, what the hell, let’s pull a single card. Maybe the Ace of Swords everyone talks about could cut through this fog?

Digging Out the Card Stuff

Grabbed my coffee – lukewarm now, damn – and plonked the deck on the kitchen table. Smelled that new-card smell. Didn’t bother with fancy cleansings or rituals this time; just shuffled rough like I was mixing pancake batter, thinking HARD: “What’s the truth I’m ignoring about this job thing?” Cut the deck three times – felt right – and flipped the top card sideways. Bam. Ace of Swords staring up, pointy end first. That sharp yellow background almost glowing.

First Reaction & Beginner Stumbles

Honestly? My brain went kinda blank. Forgot all the meanings except “new ideas.” Useless. Put the card down, slurped cold coffee, grabbed my phone. Scrolled past cat videos and searched “Ace of Swords meaning quick.” Stuff popped up:

• Mental clarity – cutting through BS
• Big breakthrough – sudden insight
• Truth, even if it hurts
• Communication – saying it straight

Felt overwhelming. “Breakthrough”? Where? Still felt foggy! Messed up already. Didn’t just sit and LOOK at the card itself. So I picked it up again. Really looked:

• That sword held high – felt like a challenge
• The crown and leaves? Maybe winning something… or growing?
• Clouds pierced – okay, piercing illusion!

Trying a Stupid-Simple Exercise

Alright, fine. Stuck the phone away. Janky pen, crumpled notebook page. Wrote three quick things:

1. What “illusion” am I clinging to? (Thinking: “That my current job will suddenly get exciting again.”)
2. What “truth” hurts? (“I’m scared to jump ship, even though I’m bored.”)
3. What idea needs “shouting”? (“Update your damn resume already, dummy!”)

Felt… less foggy? Still anxious, but sharper. Like the card poked my brain.

Testing it Out & Realizing

Phoned my sister later – she knows my job whining. Instead of just complaining, tried that “clarity” thing. Blurted: “I think I stay because it’s safe, not good. Truth is, I gotta leave.” Silence. Then she went, “Well… finally! Took you long enough!” Made me laugh. Sword cut through MY story straight to the point.

Quick Notes for Myself Later

Scrawled this down while feeling the buzz:

• Ain’t always about violence. It’s about cutting your own crap.
• Ask “What truth am I avoiding?” whenever this sucker shows up.
• Look at the card LONGER than I read about it. Pictures speak louder.
• Don’t pull another card if this one feels loud. Sit. Listen. Feel that sharp focus.

Still learning. Messed up that coffee. But today? Ace of Swords felt like a mental kick in the butt. Useful.